What You Probably Don't Understand About My Activism

It is National Breastfeeding Awareness month!  I was so excited for August to roll around because we get to celebrate something that has become so very dear to me.  I did my research to find out otherwise lesser known facts about the topic and was so excited to post a fun fact everyday.  It really is eye opening to see just the complexities that goes into a woman’s body.  I can’t understand the full extent of it but God really had a plan and intelligence.

Now before you get offended, because I know some of you are, I do not mean to say that God intended children to starve because there is the 3-4% of women that cannot breastfeed, that women should all be able to get pregnant.  Goodness sakes, no!  We have options now; viable options for those that are otherwise unable to.

I do appreciate the “I Support You” movement.  It is necessary.  I do support you!  My only negative feeling about it is that I do feel it undermines the celebration of this month.  All women should be celebrated for doing their best.  This month is specifically dedicated to breastfeeding and bringing awareness to how complex, difficult, wonderful, life giving, expansive, and how in need breastfeeding women are of support.  By supporting breastfeeding and pointing out the benefits of it, I am not insulting formula feeding.  This seems to be a never-ending opinion.  That by somehow pointing out the benefits of breastfeeding I am somehow pointing out the flaws of formula feeding.  Not true!

The mothers I know are all wonderful.  They all do their very best for their children.  They do not all breastfeed but that is not what makes them wonderful mothers.  What makes them wonderful mothers is researching and taking what knowledge they find and doing their best to apply it.  We can not, for the most part, change what our bodies allow us to do.  We have to do our best with what we are given.

I aim to support mothers that breastfeed.  To let them know they do not have to feel alone, sequestered, or ashamed.  I want to educate future mothers that do wish to breastfeed.  That there are numerous benefits, it is difficult, you will need help, that it is a learned skill.  This does not mean that I think those that chose the alternative are not equally great mothers. 

There is a lot of misinformation out there concerning breastfeeding.  It has become such a political topic that even medical professionals are starting to become politically correct about how they discuss it.  Science does not worry about offending, only people do.

If supporting breastfeeding mothers and nursing in public makes me a feminist, great!  Feminism doesn’t have to mean I am an angry, crotchety, Godless woman that does not need a man.  It means that I stand up for women that are otherwise being discriminated against for their choices when that choice happens to be a wonderful one.  I absolutely need and love my husband.  I wouldn’t be the woman or mother I am today without his support.

I do feel like I have lost the support of close friends and family.  I am affected by it, but I can not let it change my goal.  I do feel like I am working towards a positive change, a difference that needs to be made.  I won’t stop.  Unfortunately that will mean the loss of others, but it will mean I will gain support from others that agree with me.  It is my fault for picking a topic that happens to be controversial.  It is their fault for looking past the whole of me to be offended and uncomfortable by a part of what I do.  I’m not going to apologize for following my heart and my spirit.

I hope I have explained to those that have become offended or uncomfortable my views.  I’m sure some will not even bother to read this because it mentions the word “breastfeeding” in the first sentence and will likely be followed by some sort of “here she goes again” thought.  I do not feel I need to explain myself, but it is out of love and a hopeful mutual understanding that I do it.  I don’t want my family and friends to lose out on seeing my wonderful son grow up or my amazing husband realize his goals because they cannot get past my activism.

My passion comes from my heart and my spirit.  Is a fire that has started and will not be stopped.  I can promise you this.

The August Family Update

Here is a little update on the Fosters.  Things are definitely complicated right now.  Our plan and Heavenly Father’s plan definitely isn’t the same but we’re doing our best to align them.

Daniel is still doing as great as ever.  He is learning and growing perfectly.  He has finally gotten the hang of one long nap.  He still wakes up once at night to nurse but I’m so used to it now that I can handle it.  He has gotten into being very independent when it comes to eating.  Sometimes he won’t even try something until I hand him a fork and spoon.  He is a great climber, is still wildly obsessed with anything that resembles a ball, and loves to swim.  He is very loving and thoughtful for a boy just barely 15 months.  He is incredibly active and has a mind of his own which can make church interesting.  Is it really 3 more months until nursery??  He is very observant and does great at mimicking.  That is where he learns the most.  We sure do love this wonderful son we have!

David was given the green light to get back into basketball shape awhile back so we are still working on pursuing his goal of playing professional ball for a little while.  It has been a slower process than we hoped, but we are trucking along.  We were hoping to have an idea of our future plans by the end of this month but that is not possible anymore.  After discussing his ideas and plans with someone who recently finished his professional basketball career our plans have changed.  We are now going to take as long as needed for David to be fully prepared to try out for teams.  This means we will be staying in SLC because he has vast amounts of resources here.  While the resources are our goal, this is not as easy as it sounds.  Currently David has a part time job and I am being phased out of my part time job.  We can no longer afford our apartment since rent has gone up significantly when our contract ended and we are now paying month to month.  We are currently asking many around us if they know of anyone with a basement apartment, someone with a vacant house, an older couple going on a mission, SOMETHING that will help us cut on expenses so we can follow this dream.  It has been a hard realization for us but we have many that would like to help and after discussing it with a few people and David, we are hopeful something will arise.  I am ready for some stability and fun, adversity has been my longtime companion these last two years.  So world, if you would like to join in on the cause, we would love some help finding some temporary housing for this small (in numbers) family of ours.  We are hoping to know by November what the next step is so the housing would probably be needed until November or December.

Now me.  I have been struggling a lot with our current predicament but David and I are very good at discussing our concerns with each other.  He has helped me realize that we are doing our best in every other aspect so we can only do our best in this and see what happens.  We can not allow ourselves to get ahead of the situation.  When he comes home with new ideas and plans after discussing it with coaches and supporters I only get more motivated that something will eventually happen.  Even if it means our faith will be tried even more.  Of course I have terrible days when I have to cry for a little about it all.  What we are going through is not ideal.  We are using our savings to pay everything else but rent.  This includes COBRA for me, car payments, school loan payments, food, utilities, and the now rare occurrence when we like to indulge ourselves with a meal out or a dollar movie.  I have to admit that I am not good at being poor and managing situations like this.  I don’t want to worry about getting my favorite pizza from Whole Foods or my favorite burrito from Chipotle, but I DO worry.  Luckily Daniel is such a light in my life that I do end up finding myself smiling a lot during the day.  He doesn’t care if he’s walking around with only a diaper on all day because I forgot to do his laundry again.  He doesn’t care that my hair is in a ponytail pretty much everyday.  He doesn’t care that his summertime fun isn’t the water park, it’s the park across the street.  I have to view myself through his eyes when I have terrible days.  To him I am the world.  I am his comfort, food, love, learning, fun, and he isn’t complaining so why should I?

I am definitely not the best at it and I have had some ugly cry days but today I am hopeful.  I have the love and support of the two most important people in my life.  We work through things together.  We will get through this even if it means a few more grey hairs for me.  We have a wonderful ward that is concerned for us, friends and supporters that want to help us follow our dream, family that have reached out to help us in whatever way we let them know we need.  We will get through this!  Then hopefully when we do and Europe is our future then I will have lots of lovely adventures and pictures to post about.

If you would like to help or would just love to send your support, we would really appreciate it.