I know I have moms that read this that have many more kids than me. I'm not an expert like you, but I do have my 2 cents. If anyone wants to add stuff to the comments, feel free!
Some things I wish I would have known:
I knew I wouldn't be able to eat once I was admitted, but I wish I would have eaten more before I was admitted to the hospital.
All the classes couldn't have prepared me for how painful the contractions were, they took my breath away.
Some babies don't latch right away. This was a sensitive thing for me. With the exhaustion of childbirth then to have Daniel struggling to latch, it made me very emotional. Luckily my mom was there to see that I was struggling, she went through the same thing and knew that a nipple shield would help. He latched on to that great. The 2 months I had to use that were frustrating but at least he was getting my milk.
Hospital beds are not made for tall people. I was basically sitting Indian style the first night because the bed was too short for me to extend my legs. Luckily the next day the nurses found a bed extension, but I was SO uncomfortable.
Make sure the nurses give you a donut to sit on in the hospital bed (if you have a vaginal birth). I didn't have one and I could not find a comfortable position after they took me into recovery. I maybe got 1 hour of sleep after Daniel was born. Once my mom again saved me and told them to get me one, it was so much better. I could actually relax a little. It was so painful down there without it!
I had absolutely no appetite after they took me to recovery. They brought me a turkey sandwich but I could only force feed myself to eat about a quarter of it.
Nurses come in A LOT. Almost every hour to push on your stomach, check your temp, and check on baby. You do not get a lot of rest.
Breastfeeding contractions. I've heard its worse after the second or more child. Because breastfeeding naturally releases hormones that contract your uterus back to its normal non-pregnant size, you can feel it (if you're not hopped up on pain meds). I definitely felt it. It was like a period cramp. I had heard about it ahead of time so I would try to tell myself that its just my body doing what it is supposed to to get me back to my pre-pregnant state.
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| Finally able to get some rest after the bed extension, donut, and pain meds kicked in. |
Some glimmers of light during a rough childbirth/recovery:
Root beer flavored ice chips
Cupcakes
The first shower... oh my that was like heaven!
Witch Hazel... saved my sanity from the pain of stitches and stretching down there
Ice packs... also for down there
Graham crackers
Next time if we can afford it I would love to go to a hospital that gives out mani/pedis to new moms. I would have loved a little pampering during the rough recovery.
I wouldn't trade Daniel for the world, but I guess you can never be fully prepared for childbirth since you never really know how its going to go. I hope this helps some women out there prepare and some men prepare to have lots of sympathy.
4 comments:
I was able to avoid some of that by going to a birthing center. I gave birth naturally with no medication, but I was prepared for it by taking Hypnobabies birthing classes. I went home five hours after giving birth and had no one to bother me. Some things I wish I would've known:
You can't really walk after giving birth and it takes three to four weeks to even start normalizing. The soreness may take months to finally go away.
Also, it's okay to feel clueless. Asking other moms for advice or just to answer questions does not make you a bad mom.
The uterus shrinking thing. Although I escaped the nurses because I was home.
It's okay to cry and feel overwhelmed. You're not alone. Just make sure you ask for help.
The baby does not give back. Those first weeks, he or she needs you ALL the time and can't give you a gratifying smile even. It's all work and no payback. You give your whole body and life to this baby and they can't express love or gratitude.
The overwhelming feelings and total exhaustion fade and every part of being a mom becomes lovely and gratifying. Though it still may not be until they have a child of their own that they finally express that gratitude.
The breastfeeding contractions with baby #2 were way worse. Sometimes they were just as strong as my labor contractions and no amount of meds helped, I was already on as much pain meds as possible because of my c-section.
With baby #1 I wish I had known how hard the nurse was going to push on my abdomen after recovery. I actually had a friend that hit her nurse when she did it because she was not prepared for the pain.Really they should warn you before they push down with all of their strength.
The other thing I wish I had mentally prepared for every delivery possibility. Honestly I never even considered a c-section an option. I always imagined I would go into labor, get an epidural and deliver a few hours later. Instead my water broke and baby was breach and I found myself in surgery.
I also learned especially after having a c-section to not be afraid to bug the nurses all the time and to never let them miss one of your pain med doses. I missed one with nathan in the middle of the night. I guess I had finally fallen asleep and the nurse didn't want to bug me. Unfortunately that meant three hours later I was in so much pain I started crying when the new nurse came in to ask how I was doing.And as my new nurse explained my body now had to start over with building up enough meds to provide the pain control that I needed. With Baby #2 I was much better at keeping track of when I should be receiving more meds and actually would buzz them every time they were late.
after going home I wasn't able to bend over at all for at least a week, not even in the shower to wash my legs.
the final thing is that breastfeeding isn't easy. I am glad I stuck it out through the pain but those first few weeks I would be in tears every time baby cried knowing that meant I had to feed him.and for me it never really becomes this great bonding experience. I do it because I know it is what is best. I find it discouraging when everyone talks about how wonderful breastfeeding because for me it never was.
If I was going to add anything from my experiences ...I would say...
1: Pick your doc carefully and do not be scared to switch no matter how far along you are! I switched at like 28 weeks and it was totally worth it. I can not imagine how much my birth would suck without having made that choice.
2: A doula can be a lifesaver. People said since I was giving birth in a hospital that I did not need a doula but HELL YES I DID. She was not just there for me, she was there for B.
3: EAT. Eat while you are in the hospital. No one can stop you and you are not breaking any real rules. EAT!! Eat things like power bar type stuff. Energy things with lots of B vitamins. Cliff makes some awesome gel block things I ate a bunch of. Make sure it is easy to digest but EAT EAT EAT.
4: Bring your own pillows. Just do it.
5: Buy a cloth diaper sprayer..EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT CLOTH DIAPERING! Helps with the recovery when going pee. Truly...amazing.
Birth is hard. Take classes, find support groups and love yourself through this process. It is all about you and you need to do what you need to do to survive.
I love it!!! So much truth behind what we all didn't know!
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