2 months

First off I want to say thank you for all the support and understanding I was given after the 1 month post both in the comments and the personal emails I received.  I love knowing how we're all human and we all struggle.  Its a given part of pregnancy/motherhood and while some hide it well, I tend to be more of an open book so I was very appreciative to those that decided to open up to me.  Even though I didn't respond to any of you (and I hope you can understand why), I read each individually and more than one time.  I shed some tears of happiness and struggle but I think they were healing tears.

I said I hope month 2 was better right?  I think each month will be better than the last... or at least I hope so.  I find myself saying "I can't wait for next month when he can____________".  Right now I'm trying my best to enjoy this month and this day while I am given them.

Let me get my negatives out of the way so I can end on a happy note:
I hate my body right now.  I am SO self conscious.  I saw a photo of myself yesterday from the day before and my first thought was "I look like a house".  I really shouldn't be thinking that way especially since David is trying so hard to make sure I stay confident like he's used to.  I am trying to come up with a game plan of how I can get to the gym more often so I can feel like myself again, even if I never fit into my jeans again.  I was doing so well going on walks everyday and working this body then it got ghastly hot so I stopped.
I still struggle with the crying.  I have had to hand him over to someone or put him down somewhere and walk away a few times to clear my head and my emotions.  Sometimes that means I cry a little, most of the time it means a drink of water, some deep breaths, maybe even some walking around the apartment.
Poor little guy had to get a shot today, he was so tough.  I now hate that nurse though.  Oh and by the way... he's not so little.  At 2 months he is 26 inches and 14 lbs.  Go big baby!
He's too big to fit in his newborn napper so that is one less place for me to put him where he was always really good at sleeping.
I am not doing a good job at being a happy home maker.  I don't think I've cooked dinner in 2 weeks.  Anyone want to come over and inspire me?
He doesn't nap well during the day which means mama doesn't get a nap either.  Yay me!
He hates getting out of the bath which means the whole time we're getting him ready for bed/nursing he is screaming.  Through the lotion, the diaper, the clothing, and the swaddling up until he gets on the boob.  Thank goodness we don't bathe him everyday.

Okay, that's enough of the negatives.  Here are the lovely things that make my days:
His smiles!  Oh man his smiles can turn me from a monster mom to an angel in an instant.  Want to see one?

You can't not say "awww"

He stopped waking up every 3 hours at night.   Woop Woop!  Last night we put him down at 10:15, he woke up at 3:45 then again at 7:45.  Thank you Daniel!  The great thing is that he has done this 3 times in the last week.  Oh and he is in the crib now, big boy

First night in the crib.  He looks so small!

He has developed what we call the "fake cry".  Its one of those very light cries that sounds so pitiful sometimes you can't help but laugh.  Luckily he is doing more of these cries than the all out screaming. I'll take it!
His talking, he has got the cutest voice and squeals!  Here are a couple videos.  You may have seen one on my facebook already, but the other is great too.  His reaction to David's snort is the best!

He has now found his hand and loves to eat it.  I'll hear him sucking on his hand when I'm driving and its so loud but its so cute!
His legs are starting to get chubby.
The nipple shield is almost no longer used in this house.  Thank heavens!!
If there is a mirror and he finds himself he will start cooing.

And here is a picture showing the difference in growth from last month:

Slowly  but surely I'm starting to feel myself again and get the hang of this mommy stuff.

Can't wait to see the development he goes through this month!